Support Your Friends Who Struggle With Social Anxiety

Not to point out my fam like this but where the introverts at who struggle with social anxiety? From not only wanting to stay home from the party but the constant "what ifs" is just the typical train of thought that comes from me when going out.  

If you're going to ask the homebody, social anxiety, introvert, hot and cold cases like myself then you've come to the right place. This post is long overdue but here we are working thought the anxiety and knowing what works for us. 

Over the years I've been invited to a few dances, social gathering, and impromptu events that I could have made an appearance or two.  Sometimes not only am I afraid of going but the invitee does not make it helpful to be apart of the fun. 

We all have that one friend that complains you don't go anywhere. They may or may not be aware of your anxiety or could lack the understanding of how difficult social settings can be for you. These next few tips are somethings I've struggled with but communicating these triggers has helped me to regain my confidence and trust in my relationships while being able to be completely myself.

1/ Show More Empathy 

One of the key steps to understanding what your friend is experiencing is understanding their anxiety. We all experience feelings and react differently. Some of us can easily be excited about a party while some of us can be paralyzed by the thought of it. Consider having an open conversation on their thoughts on how you can be supportive. Knowing how that person is feeling vs pressuring them can make a huge difference with the outcome.

2/Show up together

Going anywhere new or around new faces my first priority is safety. There is a better chance of me going somewhere knowing I'll be safe and leaving with the person I came with. Showing up together can help curb the anxiety of feeling alone especially when entering a large room filled with people.

A familiar face and having someone to talk to throughout the night can help to increase confidence and decrease anxiety levels. I like a friend who helps to exercise anxiety practices; these practices help to overcomes small or large fears. 

3/Plan something you both can enjoy

You wouldn't take someone with anxiety bungy jumping now, would you? Ease us in, please. 

Food is a beautiful way to bring people together. We all have to eat and that's something we can all take a minute to catch our breath with.

I say go for something intimate first, something small and faces to easily remember you want your friend to enjoy themselves and not trying to remember faces the entire night. 

The pressure of not wanting to disappoint you can cause avoidance so ask questions.  Ask about activities your friend enjoys doing. He/she might like to dance, like to sip and paint; ask to find out, and never assume. 

4/Introduce them to people who make you feel good

Not all our friends are the best at making people feel inclusive. Some of them may take time learning but they can learn just like you. Introduce your circle one person at a time. Sometimes the mary-go-round of this is  Tom, Sally, Brenda can be overwhelming especially if everyone is talking at once. 

Try finding someone they can form a connection with but help make the introduction first. Can we say let's practice together? Yes, you can be present for the first few moments but when your friend gives you the green light slowly make your way to enjoying your evening. Check-in now and then without hovering but be present, they'll appreciate the effort and your presence.

5/Share Your Experiences 

I love sharing a laugh with good company. We've all had instances where we were either awkward in person or have some embarrassing stories to share. Please don't hold back. Share some insight into your past struggles and how you manage to overcome them. 

Help your friend lighten up by making them laugh. I don't know about you but I've got some pretty embarrassing stories and hearing other people's stories can quickly make feeling overwhelmed more relaxing. Having a supportive friend can help shake the feeling of feeling anxious. 

6/ Continue Social Practices 

While your friend is branching out and learning how to practice social exercises; one social gathering doesn't fix anxiety overnight. Be patient, be present, be uplifting, and continue to be supportive. 

Everyone needs a check-in; from time to time. 

"How are you feeling"? 

"Did you eat today"? , 

"Do you want to go for a stroll in the park"?

 These are all good questions to ask. Personally, I feel like their growing questions each time you ask the answer will continue to change. 

Hope you guys enjoyed the read. I wish you and your friend continued recovery and inclusion in your relationship. Sending love and guidance your way.